Laparoscopy

Back in March when I was told that I could not schedule my laparoscopy until April 21st, I remember being caught of guard and wanting to raise my voice at the sweet nurse and say "What? Did I understand you correctly ? I can't have it done now...you mean I have to wait more? But don't you know I've been waiting and waiting and waiting. " Devastated I hung up the phone, wept and started the process of making sense out of things. Well, I can't say that I can make sense out of any of this but I can tell you I have grown in ways I never imagined I could. In the waiting I have found myself learning more about what it means to be a true worshiper/follower of Christ. One who's heart's affection and mind's attention is fixed on my perfect, heavenly Father who is crazy about me (and you). ~no matter the circumstances~

For me waiting is not something I enjoy (as I'm sure a lot of people can relate). Yet, it has been a place of growth. A scripture that God has given me recently is found in Deuteronomy 32:10 "In a desert place He found her, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded her and cared for her; He guarded her as the apple of His eye." As the Israelites waited for the promise land the Lord was working out His purposes for each of them. I think I have always viewed  'withholding' as a way for the Lord to teach me a lesson or that it meant I just wasn't ready or a consequence for something I've done but lately His sweet whisper to my heart has been that He is shielding me and caring for me and preparing my promise land. What this land will be is still unknown but I believe with all my heart it involves children. 

So with this being said, my laparoscopy is scheduled for Tuesday. I have been asked, "How are you feeling about all of this?" and I can honestly say 'I don't know what I'm feeling?' I want to believe that this is all it will take but I'm not certain as no one truly is when it comes to children. He is the author of life so of course it will be in His perfect time. So I guess although it will be helpful in identifying the problem the reality is that there still could be more waiting. 

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes,  I will wait

(lyrics by John Waller "While I'm Waiting")

Please pray for us. 

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished."  Luke 1:45