So lately I've been accepting the idea that fertility is just hard. Acceptance is really a freeing thing because it allows me to be able to process the now and look ahead to the future. This past week or so I have felt so emotionally out of control. I guess increasing testosterone and lowering my estrogen makes me a little feisty. Poor Adam...'bless his heart" I can hear all the southerners say! Many times this last week I thought "Lord, you know I can't do this anymore. I can't hear that everything looks phenomenal and then it not happen AGAIN." And just when I think I've lost hope He shows up. He shows up by giving me a peace that transcends all understanding, a devotional that I needed to hear (below), a kind word from a friend, a great appointment today, a loving husband, supportive family and hope for what's to come.
If you are still reading this, I encourage you to take time to read the following and no matter your trial/circumstance may you find encouragement.
Taken from Sarah's Laughter~ Daily Double Portion 6/22/09
Infertility is hard. You certainly don't need me to tell you that. It sometimes feels like your emotions are so out of control, that you simply cannot take the frustration any more. You get a bad report from the doctor, or you get another invitation to a baby shower in the mail just as you get off the phone with your newly pregnant friend. You just don't know how much more of this you can take! You've been told time and again that God has a plan for your life, and that He will work through this situation, but you're just not sure you can hang on long enough for Him to do the work. Has God pushed you to limits beyond what you can bear?
No, friend. He promises to never give you more of a burden than you can bear. It's written in black and white, and found in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." The word "temptation" is really quite interesting. The literal meaning is "adversity, affliction, trouble: sent by God and serving to test or prove one's character, faith, holiness." God will not allow more adversity, affliction or trouble to come into your life than you are able to bear. He may push you right up to the limit of what you can stand, but He'll never allow more than you can survive. When you feel like the burden is too heavy, and you are about to give in to the pressure, look around you. God promises a way of escape. Perhaps it will be found in the encouragement of a supportive friend. Maybe it's in a good doctor's appointment, or a stress free date with your spouse. Maybe it's just taking time to laugh or to enjoy the small moments every day. Look around you. God promises a way of escape when you feel like giving up.
God doesn't allow tests and trials like infertility to come into your life because He likes to see you suffer. Don't you know that He loves you, and hurts right along with you? So why does He allow it? They prove your character. Trials overcome make a shining example of faith and holiness.
Perhaps you need to hear it from a fellow sufferer of long ago. Surely there were days that Job felt like giving up. Surely he felt like he couldn't take the hurt any more. Surely he wondered if God really did have a plan for him. Perhaps his escape route came in the form of a deep abiding belief that good things were around the bend. Read the words he shares with you today: "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. Job 23:10
When you struggle with infertility (disappointment; business trouble, etc) and you feel tempted to give up on God and His plan, just hold on! God will provide a way of escape for you. And when He has tested you, may you come forth as gold!
