Not sleeping so I thought I'd write

So I woke up for about the 4th time to use the potty and just could not fall back a sleep so "I thought why not blog?" Weird...I know but it has been a while. As of today, I am 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant. It's hard to believe that her due date is almost 4 weeks away. I often find myself laying awake at night contemplating how my life is going to change forever. On March 12th, Adam and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. In many ways I can't believe it's already been 5 years and in other ways it feels like it's been much longer. I am so thankful for these years for us to just be a family of two ~ (I mean 3...how could I forget Bentley aka "MrB"~ who has a b-day May 28th). As I think back over these 5 years we have been so fortunate to have experienced many adventures together. Adam truly is my best friend and I still wake up each day and think "wow Lord you know how to give your children amazing gifts that we do not deserve." As we prepare to meet Addison, the daughter chosen by God, to be a part of our family my heart is full and grateful yet at the same time terrified. We went and saw the movie Letters to God tonight. I definitely think you should go see it. Of course there is a bit of Christian cheese in some parts but overall it was a great film. For me it also served as a reminder that we are not in control. This little boy Tyler is fighting cancer and God used his life to echo through eternity. But as I was sitting there, my eyes would often fill with tears as this mom (who had also lost her husband) was so helpless to save her son. All she could do was trust the God she knew to come through for them and what if He chose not to? Helplessness is not a comfortable place to be in but it's the best place to meet/connect with Jesus as a Savior. I often times feel helpless when it comes to bringing Addison into this world. I cannot control when that will happen, how that will happen, and anything else that I wish I could already protect her from. The past fews weeks I have spent 'wasted time' worrying and fretting; forgetting once again the God who answered my prayers 9 months ago is the same God who has Addie's life in the palm of His hands. I can already tell I will have many moments for the rest of my life that are going to be used in my sanctification (a big word that simply means to become set apart as holy~for God) I'm sure raising children is going to show how much more I need a Savior. Though our prayers have been answered as far as having children 'who knows' what's ahead? My Savior does. I'm so grateful I can rest in His ~ good, pleasing and perfect will. Whom am I Lord that you would love me so deeply? Whom am I that you would recognize my name? Lord, who am I that you would die for me? Lord, who am I?

Colossians 3:12-14 "So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it." (The Message)

The NIV version states "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."

Oh how I love that we are loved by the Father. I'm not really sure who reads my blogs anymore. BUT for those of you that do~ I pray you know that you are LOVED by the LORD of all creation! No matter your circumstances~ HE is CRAZY about you. I remember not too long ago really struggling to believe this BUT He is faithful and if He has said He would do it~ He will.

Luke 1:45 "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished."