Relinquish

One of my most favorite devotionals is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. I completed the devotional last year but yearned for more. Then Adam received Nearer to Jesus by Sarah Young last year at Christmas, which I quickly 'stole' from him. I believe the Lord has used these 2 books in the last 2 years to specifically speak to the deep places of my heart.  I remember dreaming of what it would be like to be a mom... AND never did I imagine that I would be 'mommy' to two adorable babies in 2 years. The waiting was so HARD and now that my dream has become a reality it is still HARD. Please don't misunderstand, my heart is very full and I'm so grateful. I know there are so many still in the struggle of fertility and waiting to see how God wants to grow their families. My heart still remembers what the 'waiting, disappointment, uncertainity' feels like and I long for their dreams to also be fulfilled.

Since we've returned from Montana it seems like we cannot get our feet back under us. Adam and I set a few goals for the fall and were very excited about beginning them. One of them being 'weight loss'. We joined the Y, we went 'back to school' shopping, we organized, and we were ready for life. That is until Reid woke up with a 102.7 fever...and our feet were knocked out from under us. NOW a week and a half later, his fever just broke; we've been to the doctor a few times, we've been through 2 children with 'hand, foot and mouth disease' (btw...what kind of name is that for a virus~ I wish you could see the faces of those who have never heard of it!); we've been through another virus with Reid, two teeth, and sleepless nights!!! Did I mention Reid is 10 months old and I don't think we've made it ONE week sleeping through the night?! I guess I could go on and on but that's not the point of this...

Just yesterday as I was spending some time with the Lord while Reid was taking a (20 min) nap and Addie was at school...

(Adapted from Nearer to Jesus by Sarah Young)

It was Monday and one of the lines..."learning to live above your circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life." YOU (me) yearn for SIMPLE....so that your communication with Him can be uninterrupted...

RELINQUISH the fantasy of an uncluttered world

ACCEPT each day just as it comes

FIND Him in it ALL
"In all your ways acknowledge Him & He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6

This is so HARD for me. The letting go, the relinquishing....

I want to quit worrying about money. I want to lose weight. I want to be a kinder, more gentle person (wife, mom). I want to be supportive, not envious. I want to sing more and grip less. I want to look for the positive, not dwell on the negative. I want to reach out to those who need me, not wait for them to come to me. I want to live fully even when it's HARD.

The very few moments that I have 'relinquished my control' HE IS THERE...

Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'do not fear, I will help you."

John 16:33 "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.."

He says to me "understanding will fail you but trust will keep you close to me"

He's training me to find him in each moment...

PEACE. 'my current deepest need to calm my fears and clear my mind' just like he did with the disciples long ago...

John 20:19 "when the disciples were together~ with the doors locked for fear of the Jews~ Jesus came and stood among them and said "PEACE be with you."

HIS PRESENCE is with Me and He offers me PEACE. Though I do not deserve it, though I have not earned it...PEACE is my gift.

So today (this moment)  I'm choosing to 'let the PEACE of Christ rule in my heart..' Col. 3:15

exhausted.broken. grateful. beloved. cherished. peaceful.

2 day 2's

A couple of hours ago I dropped her off for her first day of 'school'! How did we get here so quickly?! She woke up saying "I don't want to go, want to go to Papa's house." (We just got back from Montana and she had so much fun~ will post later) It was so surreal being on the porch taking her first of many 

'back to school' pictures. She was a ham and said 'CHEESE' the entire time. 

All smiles and ready to go! 

When we arrived she walked right in and started playing! Her friend Samantha was already there and met her with a smile and basically they took over...Sam the leader and Addie right behind her. 

I gave her a hug and kiss and said "bye Addie, I love you." To which she responded with a confident, "I love you mom." Oh my...I almost lost it.

I turned around walked out and held it together as I passed all the other kids and parents walking in. As soon as I got to my car I was a blubbery mess!!

Goodness me...I miss her like crazy and it's way to quiet around here but I am so happy for her. She's ready. She's ready for new friends. She's ready to learn. She's ready to play. She's ready...but am I? I guess I have to be..one of the hardest things about being a mom...babies growing up.

Happy first day of school...I can't wait to pick you up to hear all about it! Well at least your favorite parts that you'll remember!

I'm sure my emotional state has nothing to do with the fact that little brother has been sick and the last 24 hours I've had a total of about 4 hours of sleep. Motherhood...keeps me on my knees and dependent on my Savior!  Praying he feels better soon and that his fever goes away. 

Sweet Summertime

What a fun month July has been...here are a few highlights....

We celebrated the 4th at our good friend's the Qureshi's...

Addison had a great time swimming, making bubbles, laughing, etc

Then we had a princess party to celebrate my 32nd b-day...

highlight of that day after having my hair done...

2 gray hairs...which I named Addie & Reid! 

Then we made our way up to the great state of Alabama to spend a week at the lake...

 We love GG and G-daddy

 melt my heart! 

 being silly with Daddy! 

 Having fun with G-Grandma Parks & G-Grandaddy Parks 

 Playdate with Laney and Rae Rae

 Reid man snuggles with Leigh Leigh

Visiting the 'beach' in Fairhope

 having fun with friends! 

This little man is 9 months old!! 

Good ole time with Jacob and all the cousins! 

sweet boys

Happy 4th of July!

I had no idea Adam knew anything about posting on our blog but apparently he's a better blogger than I since his post has received the most page views! I was heading to my connecting flight in Miami when I read his post...

I'm grateful he's decided to 'stay at work' as I love my job and wouldn't trade it for the world...well maybe somedays I would. Most days I still can't believe all the fun things I get to do with my kids. 

I did want to clarify that I didn't leave him stranded...yes daddy day care was in full affect but he forgot to mention the 'help' I lined up for him while I was away. I'm very thankful that I was able to be in Alabama with my family and the kids had a lot of bonding time with Daddy. He's so amazing with them and I just love him more and more each day as I see him interact with them and love us so sacrificially! 

Our neighborhood had a 4th of July celebration on Sunday evening. I dressed the kids in their best red, white and blue and managed to get a few 'good' pictures of them. It's amazing how many I have to take in order to have at least one of both of them looking, smiling, not crying or having a temper tantrum, etc...

Happy 4th of July!